- Wear your glasses.
- Make sure your partner is actually in bed.
- Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
- Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
- Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
- Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
- Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
- Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
- Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
- If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
- Don't even think about trying it twice.
(I sent this in large type so us seniors can read it.